Mess Hall

Los Angeles, CA
messhallkitchen.com



The Order: Mess Hall Burger, medium rare.  Slow onions, Vermont cheddar, b&b pickles, and smokey aioli on a brioche bun.
Side Order: Does not come with fries (add for $5 at lunch, $8 at dinner)
Lunch $10 - Dinner - $15
Drink Order: Stone IPA
Burger Menu Rating: 10.5/15




Located at Los Feliz Blvd and Hillhurst Ave. in Los Feliz, Mess Hall opened about a year and a half ago to widespread positive acclaim from local reviewers, but has remained relatively under the radar as a contender in the established Los Angeles burger scene.  Head chef Keith Silverton has created a menu that falls into the ubiquitous category American (new), with a wide variety of options designed to appeal to the young Los Feliz and Silverlake crowds.


The Fanny Bay Oysters were an excellent starter for the meal with mild brininess and a cucumber finish.

Here in Los Angeles, like in other major metropolitan cities, there has been a resurgence in oysters as relatively cheap artisanal fare.  The small selection of oysters here are moderately priced at around $3 each, and come with accurate descriptions.  Like everywhere else, the Oysters help get you in the door to then spend your money on other higher priced items, except that the rest of the menu isn't so outrageously expensive that you mind.  The entire menu is filled with upscale Southern food with items whose flavor pack a big punch to your mouth.  A fried chicken sando with honey mustard on brioche.  Buffalo wing confit.  You'll come here wanting to satisfy cravings for big flavors and balance them all with beer and cocktails.  The same applies to their burger which treads carefully at the edge of a flavor profile that could be a little too much.


This burger's onions are just pouring out all over the place.

When the Mess Hall Burger arrives, it's just ready to fall apart.  I mean, it's amazing that they've managed to pile all of the toppings onto the burger and maintain a clean plate.  As soon as you touch it it begins to ooze and drip cheese, onions and sauce.  "It sure is a... messy burger," my friend Will exclaims while eating.  Get it?  Messy?  But he's also correct.  This thing will end up everywhere.  Don't wear white when you come here, or you'll end up wearing this thing out.

First off, there are a ton of onions on this thing.  They're all sweet and delicious, but are a bit much.  Now, when you get a bite that has all of the ingredients they come together in your mouth to create an amazing and strong but balanced flavor that is at times sweet, tangy, salty and smokey.  It's just a delight to savor the cheddar with the onions, and when the little bit of sourness comes through from the pickles, it's like your mouth has died and gone to heaven.  There's plenty of cheese and pickles on this burger, but for some reason they're not evenly disbursed so many bites have a disproportionate amount of onions and when eaten alone they become overwhelmingly sweet.  My recommendation?  Remove the bun from the burger before attacking it, and use your knife and fork to more evenly disperse the toppings.  You'll be more guaranteed to have delicious bites every single time.

The meat is a custom blend of brisket, chuck and flank steak with a 70% lean to 30% fat ratio that is delivered from Niman Ranch up near San Francisco and ground daily in-house.  The large fat content in this burger is awesome, allowing a slightly larger margin of error when cooking and allows for good overall cohesion in the patty.  The one big detriment to the burger, however, was that it was a bit overcooked!  They were able to get a fantastic sear on the outside of the burger, so there was a little crunch to every bite, and the meat was nice and flaky, but if the burger is overcooked, you're going to lose points.  It's not as if the place was all that busy so that the chef was churning out order after order and couldn't keep an eye on the patties we ordered.  Regardless, at $10 for a lunch burger (no fries), this a really good deal for the amount of food, and the quality of the ingredients.  Next time I'd stress it being cooked correctly, but overall an awesome burger.  Also, don't miss out on their Monday Night Burger + Beer/Bourbon Deal for $15, or Tuesday night $1 Oysters!




Cooked Correctly: 4/5
Design/Ingredients: 3/4
Plating: 1/3
Value: 2.5/3

5 Napkin Burger

Manhattan, NY
www.5napkinburger.com


Photo courtesy of the web, originally from 5 Napkin Burger.

The Order: Original 5 Napkin Burger, medium rare. 10oz custom ground beef, caramelized onions, gruyere, rosemary aioli, on a soft white roll.
Side Order: Comes with fries.
$14.95
Drink Order: 5 Napkin Nut Brown Lager
Burger Menu Rating: 11/15




This is a hip little place. Old Edison lamps hang from meat hooks all over this dimly lit bar/restaurant (too dim, in fact, to get a decent pixture w/ my crap phone), while a wide range of music plays, though not so loud you can't talk to your servers or friends. The atmosphere is relaxed, and there's a constant buzz of conversation. And this place gets busy, so I'd definitely make a reservation if you can. I walked in and was able to snag a seat at the bar. The bartender was knowledgeable about the menu, and decisive with her advice, which amounted to 'go for the original.'

This burger is about toppings, taste and mouthfeel. Everything on this burger comes together in a sot and creamy mess that is a delight to bite into. It's all soft around the meat, making he meat stand out and exist as an altogether different texture that is satisfying to sink your teeth into. And the taste of the sauce packs a big punch. In fact, it's almost too much. The rosemary aioli is so strong that you barely get any of the other flavors in the burger, and the meat flavor itself struggles to make its presence known to your mouth. The gruyere and the caramelized onions are likewise thrust aside in the aioli's quest to dominate your taste buds. Still, the burger is cooked perfectly, and the texture of the burger is perfect. Eating a bite of the meat separately from the rest of the burger reveals it to be slightly smoky, and completely delicious, so it's not as if the ingredients aren't all there and holding up their end of the bargain. This also isn't to say that the aioli isn't delicious! It is! Entirely! It's superb! But there was way too much of it on this burger.

The fries are dull and uninteresting unless smothered in ketchup; their taste not only completely lost compared to the aioli, but somehow lacking from the beginning. Perhaps a lack of seasoning, or crunch. It seems like everything about the fries, besides their presentation, is disappointing.

Still, I find myself scarfing down the burger, and fries, in my usual manner, which tells me the burger is, in fact, delicious. It's just a balance in flavor that this meal is lacking.




Cooked Correctly = 5pts
Presentation/Plating = 2pts
Design/Ingredients = 2pts
Value = 2

Stout Burgers & Beers

Hollywood, CA
www.stoutburgersandbeers.com



The Order: Goombah, medium rare. Parmasiano flakes, smoked mozzarella, crispy prosciutto, and lemon basil aioli.
Side Order: Beer Battered Onion Rings ($4)
$10 + $4 = $14
Drink Order: Ommegang BPA



Wow. With recommendations from two friends, Stoud had a lot to live up to, and by no means did it disappoint. First off, these onions rings are the best I've ever had. Perfectly golden, crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside, and when you bite into one, you bite all the way through, not pulling out the entire onion. The beer batter they use is fantastic and incredibly tasty. They aren't light, and the portion is definitely generous.

The Goombah is a wonderful burger. My hat is off to the chef for designing this amazing creation. The lemon basil aioli was such an interesting compliment to the burger without getting in the way. Just a slight sour taste made the burger that much more delectable. The patty itself is HUGE and by huge I mean almost an inch think of in-house-ground (daily) beef. They aren't messing around here. Perfectly cooked, really tasty, and big. The cheese was melty and fantastic, lending a slightly smokey and sweet flavor to each bite. And the crispy prosciutto? Sprinkled on top of the cheese adding a fantastic crunchy texture and a little bit of saltiness. Perfection.

I would DEFINITELY come back here. The beer selection is great, if a little bit pricey, but they've got staff who know their beers, and are actively learning more about them. My bartender is getting into home brewing, helps buy the kegs for the bar, and I heard the waitresses asking about certain beer recommendations they might be making in the future. They've definitely got their burgers and their sides right here. All you other burger restaurants take notes. Stout is doing it the way it should be done.

The Dram Shop

Brooklyn, NY
dramshopbrooklyn.com



The Order: Hamburger with handcut fries. 2 100% ground grass-fed chuck squares, shredded lettuce, tomato, diced onion, pickle, mayo, and mustard, american cheese ($1), and yummy bacon ($1)
Side Order: Comes with handcut fries, garlic aioli dip ($1)
$11 + $1 + $1 = $13 + $1 (sauce) = $14
Drink Order: Kelso Nut Brown and Smuttynose IPA



Dear readers, I apologize for the lateness of this burger review. It is not for me to hold back from you the delicious delicacies that are out there. I have been stricken by the flu, and while I know this is not an excuse, my avid bovine consumers, I nonetheless needed to postpone. After working until very late, and not getting back to my house until 4:30, and then waking up at 2pm, I was groggy and sickly all day, finally getting back into bed at 10pm. Upon realizing today that while in the influenza infirmary I had completely bypassed yesterday's post, I rushed to the computer to deliver unto you the review of the week as follows.

The two patties of this burger are thin, making it impossible to order it any other way than well done. Adding the cheese and bacon didn't really do anything for the burger (the waitress' suggestion), and though the burger comes with mustard, you don't really taste it unless you actually look for it. We ordered two of the dipping sauces and after trying them I wished that they had just forgone the mayo and mustard on the burger and instead made the bold choice to put on any one of their delicious sauces.

The sauces really over powered the fries, which were nothing to speak of apart from the fact that they were remarkably uniform in thickness, all nice meaty fries but with basically no seasoning, or taste, to speak of.

A solid burger, but not worth $13.