Red Fez

Providence, RI
yelp.com



The Order: Fez Burger. 1/4lb beef+chourico burger with American cheese, open-secret sauce, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles and mustard on a toasted potato roll.
Side Order: fries ($3)
$6 + $3 = $9
Drink Order: Berkshire Brewing Co. Lost Sailer IPA
Burger Menu Rating: 10/15



Although not on her agenda for proving that Providence has great burgers, my friend Ali (we'll call her Providence Ali) took me out to a bar she wanted to try out called Red Fez which might have late night dinner food. And have food they did! And it was tasty!

I'd not had a burger with so different a flavor in a while. The chourico blend meat was a divine choice that was so exciting I though my taste buds were going to explode (Chourico is a Portuguese sausage similar to Chorizo). Every bite was just a mix of varied and interesting flavors from sour to sweet and all in between. The open-secret sauce was delicious (what's the secret?!), combining with, but not getting in the way of, the flavor of the meat. The meat itself, because of the chourico, is garlicky and spiced and full of awesome flavor that could have stood out on its own, but was delicious paired with the sauce and mustard as counter flavors. The lettuce and tomato didn't add much to the burger, and was thankfully included in small proportion. The red onion, on the other hand, was sweet and perfect. I did, however, question the use of American cheese on this burger. Sure it doesn't get in the way, but it didn't really do anything for the burger beyond the texture.

Though well priced at $6, this patty was a little thin though for a place like this, and I'd much rather be able to specify how my burger is cooked than not. The same can be said of the fries. You don't get that much for the price you pay, and they're merely average. Seasoned with salt. Perhaps, next to the burger, they don't live up to expectations, and perhaps that's a good thing. They don't compete with the burger for attention (notice the burger arrives sitting ON TOP of the bed of fries), but there's something to be said for fries that could be as interesting as the burger with which they're served.

Red Fez has a small but varied draught selection and a varied bottle selection to satisfy their hipster clientele. The rest of the menu looks interesting as well, though I tried a bite of the fried Mac and Cheese that everyone raves about and was mildly disappointed.

Thank you Providence Ali for showing me about your town of respectable burgers.


Cooked Correctly = 4pts
No choice of how you want it cooked? = Waved due to Pork
Presentation/Plating = 1pts
Design/Ingredients = 3pts
Value = 2pts

Harry's Bar & Burger

Providence, RI
harrysbarburger.com



The Order: Frita Cubano (2 sliders). Classic Cheese, Cuban ketchup and crispy potato sticks.
Side Order: Sweet potato fries with Kryptonite Aioli ($2.59)
$4.79 + $2.59 = $7.38
Drink Order: Stone Cat ESB
Burger Menu Rating: 6.5/10




I might love Providence. Its just a really cool little city with a ton of stuff to do. The two nights I was there, there were tons of people from RISD doing performance art in the parks, there was a giant concert going on, and the bar scene was lively. And my friend Ali was determined to show me that Providence's burger scene has merits.


This is definitely a neat little place. Two floors, interesting layout, and each room has its own decor. The burgers are well priced, and delicious, if a bit greasy, and the staff here are very friendly, and knowledgeable about the menu. They have a great beer list, which is all moderately priced, though some of it is a bit expensive. Also, a fantastic selection of music. Discovery, then Peter Bjorn & John, then Phoenix, then The Whitest Boy Alive. All great stuff.

All of the burgers here are not burgers, but sliders. There are no full sized burgers on their menu (apart from their black bean burger... which might be a full size burger, I didn't ask, and which doesn't count). And they all have interesting combinations of toppings and flavors. All of the sliders are relatively simple, but each one is very different from the next. The Frita Cubano though, stood out because of the Cuban Ketchup. The burger seemed both simple and exciting at the same time, so why not? Right?

The texture added by the potato sticks was interesting to say the least, but they were less crunchy than I expected and more a vehicle for the meat juice than anything else. The Cuban ketchup was on the sour side, and sweeter than regular ketchup, and really stood out as the 'big thing' for these sliders. The sweet-and-sour-ness of the ketchup combined with the meat juice being trapped in the potato sticks actually worked to the advantage of the sliders as each bite really packed a huge burst of flavor. The only problem I had was that you couldn't specify how to cook the meat, but with the size of the patties I can see why they just come out medium. I mean, they're all sliders, so it would be much more difficult to cook to order. Altogether the burger was tasty, but like most sliders, was really greasy, and really salty too, which isn't a detriment, but something to keep in mind if you're watching your cholesterol. That being said, I'd totally go here again, especially during 3p-5p every day for half priced burgers. I'd definitely go to try the others for sure (I had a bite of the Crunch Burgers and they were pretty great).

The sweet potato fries were great here, but their 'Kryptonite Aioli', which was supposed to be spicy (according to a conversation overheard at the next table) was not spicy at all. Perhaps it's just named for the green color of the sauce? It was like a pesto, which was only just fine on the fries. Not a great combination. Much better with plain old ketchup.

Go here for the 3p-5p half priced sliders every day (dine-in only).



Presentation/Plating = 2pts
Design/Ingredients = 2pts
Value = 2.5pts

Go Burger

Manhattan, NY - 38th st.
www.e2hospitality.com/go-burger



The Order: "The Anime" - 4oz patty, medium rare. With scallions, Miso-Russian dressing, Hoisin Sauce, pork bellies, sesame seeds and shredded lettuce.
Side Order: Vidalia Onion rings ($5)
$7 + $5 = $12
Drink Order: Coke
Burger Menu Rating: 12.5/15




Amazing! Juicy! And NOT ON THE MENU! Go here NOW and get this burger to be one of the first to try this new amazing creation. Before I moved to New York, I'd heard a lot of people naysay when talking about Go Burger Los Angeles, so I was skeptical the first time I went to the NY chain. A decent normal burger, a little pricy, but not so huge that it made you regret eating all of it. Then! This past Monday, I had a morning meeting right next door to Go Burger, and well, of course I was craving burgers by the time I got out at 11:30a, and since I just so happened to be right next door, what the hell? Right? I walk in, and am preparing to order when the server stops me and very excitedly asks me if I want to try their new burger. "Do I ever?!" She was even so excited about it, that she took a picture of one when SHE ate it (she's already speaking my language by this point). With excitement coursing through my entire body, I took a seat, waiting for my burger order to be up.

So again, I say Amazing! Juicy! The taste of the pork bellies comes through right away, in an amazing way! It mixes with and is enhanced by the different sauces on the burger, but is by no means overpowered. This is the second burger I've had with pork bellies on it, and I'm starting to think that burgers can never go wrong by having them. They add a richness in flavor, and a sweetness that is impossible to match.

The 4oz patty on this burger doesn't offer much in the way of taste, but this seems to hit the mark perfectly in this case. Any larger of a patty, and you wouldn't focus as much on the other toppings, and this is DEFINITELY toppings-burger. What it does offer, however, is mouthfeel, and it grounds it firmly in the realm of burgers, rather than straying towards a sandwich on a burger bun. The somewhat course texture of the small patty is a perfect contrast to the smooth surface of the pork bellies. You might say that $7 is a little steep for the size of this burger as a whole (4oz patty notwithstanding), but this burger doesn't know that its small. It packs a huge punch, and is totally satisfying. You're also getting a really interesting burger. If it wasn't so tasty and exciting, $7 would be outrageous.

The onion rings are awesome. Perfectly cooked, soft on the inside, crunchy on the outside. Lightly salted, and with the vidalia's natural sweetness, they combine for a really great taste. Delicious, and a decent sized portion too. These need no sauce of any kind to eat. Go Burger's Rings stand on their own, golden and proud.

I am serious when I say that this burger is not on their menu yet. As of the time of this post, it is NOT on their 38th st. online menu, and it is NOT on the board at their brick and mortar location. I am also serious when I say that you should change your lunch plans and go there immediately. You won't regret it. And please let me know when you've tried it!


Cooked Correctly = 5pts
Presentation/Plating = 2pts
Design/Ingredients = 3pts
Value = 2.5pts

Cheeburger Cheeburger

Plainview, NY
cheeburger.com



The Order: Semi Serious, medium. Cheddar, lettuce, tomato, sauteed onions ($.50), banana peppers, artichoke hearts and thousand island dressing.
Side Order: Best of Both Basket (Fries and Onion Rings) - Regular size. $6.49
6.99 + .50 + 6.49 = $13.98
Drink Order: Dr. Pepper
Burger Menu Rating: 9/15


Having grown up going to Cheeburger Cheeburger, it holds a special place in my heart, and always will. This is by no means a gourmet burger, but what is fantastic about their menu is that you get to choose everything and your burger is cooked to order. You can create so many different options by working with the size of the burger, the free toppings and sauces, and then moving onto the specialty toppings.

The Semi Serious is a 1/3lb burger, and the norm for most people who go there. There is, however a Serious, and a Delirious, the latter of which is a whopping 20oz burger before they cook it. If you FINISH a Delirious, they'll take your picture and put it up on the wall along everyone else that has done it before (there's a separate wall for repeat offenders), but keep in mind that you have to eat all the bread and finish all of the toppings as well. Your plate must be CLEAN. This is not for the faint of heart. A friend of mine did it in a high school (something like.. 11 years ago), and he was laid up for the rest of the night with stomach pain. You've been warned.

The other fantastic part of their menu is their massive list of milkshake options. These have to be flavor additions, but there is seriously a ridiculous number of flavors to choose from. 378,000 different flavor combinations! Amazing. Unfortunately, a full shake isn't as big as it used to be. You used to be able to get one, and they'd give you a ton of left over shake in that metal cup as well, but no more. Saving money? Or just someone that really knows the proportions of a shake. Either way, I'm not a fan.

The entire place (all of them, its a chain found in 29 cities, as far west as the state of Nevada), is themed like a 1950s diner, complete with ugly pink neon and all the 50s tunes you could want. The pink neon actually kind of makes your eyes hurt by the time you leave. But they must be doing something right, because I've never gone into one and seen it empty.

The fries and rings? Not much to say about them really. You get a giant basket (you better, for 6.49) and you can order some dipping sauces on the side (which are totally not worth it). The fries themselves are decent, and the onion rings are really large, but neither are anything special. I'd say you're probably better off just passing on the fries/onion rings and getting a milkshake instead. If you're planning on getting both, forgo the fries for the sake of your stomach and the ache you'll have trying to finish them. Its the same ache I've made the mistake of having many times before at Cheeburger.


You'll notice at the top of this post there's a new feature! I've finally put together a numerical rating system! It's laid out as follows:

Burgers (out of 15 points)
Cooked Correctly = 5pts
No choice of how you want it cooked? = -1
Presentation/Plating = 4pts
Design/Ingredients = 3pts
Value = 3 pts

Sliders (out of 10 pts)
Presentation/Plating = 4pts
Design/Ingredients = 3pts
Value = 3 pts

It's pretty self explanatory right? The total score will always be at the top, and the breakdown will be at the bottom of the post. Get excited for more reviews coming every Wednesday!



Cooked Correctly = 4pts
Presentation/Plating = 2pts
Design/Ingredients = 1pts (Build your own)
Value = 2 pts

Missing

Lack of $$$ = Hiatus.

Look for more reviews soon!

Canterbury Ale's

Huntington, NY
www.canterburyales.com



The Order: Archbishop of Canterburger, medium rare. Ham, mushrooms, bacon, green peppers, Swiss and American cheeses.
Side Order: Comes with their famous cottage fries
$14.99
Drink Order: Franziskaner Dunkelweiss




This isn't a terrible burger but for $14.99 I expected more. The burger came out in a timely manner, and the service was pretty good even with just one waitress. It was cooked correctly, and while this is a pretty large burger, the bun is so big that it's almost overwhelming. There is a sizable amount of beef and there are definitely a lot of toppings but the bun is just so big. I wished they either scooped out some of the bread or went with a thinner bun, or just anything to cut down on the amount of bread.

It was definitely refreshing to get a burger that didn't have a sauce on it. Even with a lot of condiments, the focus of this burger was the taste of the meat, which was good. Good quality mean, not overworked, not over seasoned, simple. Tasty. But the best part of this burger is the ham. Or I should say 'ham.' It's more like really thick bacon, which makes it awesome. It's so good, in fact, that if the burger was just beef, 'ham' and cheese, that would be amazing. Juicy, salty, and just a tiny bit of crunch, this 'ham' adds a whole world to this burger that all the other condiments don't.

Fries? Eh. I've seen pickle shaped fries before. They came out already getting cold, and weren't all that tasty. C'mon people! Fries are awesome! Make them interesting! Use a different potato, a different oil, or a different seasoning. DO something! Anyways, they have a decent selection of both draft and bottle beers. A mix of Europeans and American microbrews. It's a small place, parking is tough. Wednesdays are $10.99 burger night. A regular burger plus two toppings, and it comes with pickles and fries. Special events sometimes include fixed price beer tastings.

Pub One

Brooklyn, NY
www.puboneny.com



The Order: 3 Second Delay, medium rare. Two 8 oz patties topped with bacon, scotch bonnet peppers, white cheddar, American cheese and pickled tomato.
Side Order: Comes with fries.
$18
Drink Order: Six Point Sweet Action




Holy Wow! Spicy, sweet, salty and huge! This burger was fucking ridiculous, and definitely the best I'd had in a while. I can't say enough about this burger. Let's start with Spicy: The Scotch Bonnet Peppers were fantastic! Just spicy enough, not terrible, and a little vinegary. Each time I had one in a bite of my burger, it was an explosion of spicy flavor that filled your mouth and then quickly subsided into a dull burn. And that burn kept on building until the end. Mind you, it wasn't too spicy to finish like the Hell Burger at Stand4, but the peppers definitely let you know they were still around, and were a force to be reckoned with. Sweet: between the two cheeses and the pickled tomato, this burger was unbelievably sweet. Again, not too much so, but it was a marvelous counterpoint to the spice provided by the peppers. The gooey duo of cheese were definitely all over the burger providing sweet melty deliciousness in every bite. The pickled tomatoes were not quite as plentiful, but each bite into one was a reminder that they too had a part to play. They were sweet and a little sour and unexpected. Salty: Yes it is. And it was good. Not overly salty (I think I see a trend here), it wasn't overpowering, but just enough to add to the flavor of the meat.

The meat. Let me remind you that this burger comprised of TWO 8oz patties. It. Was. Huge. And. Magnificent. Even with all of the condiments and toppings, this burger was still about the meat. Now maybe that was because of the vast quantity of meat on this burger, but still. The flavors were balanced, and didn't impede the delicious taste of the beef in every bite. This was a difficult burger to handle. Not only is it huge, but all of the ingredients were constantly trying to escape my clutches, and the juices running from the burger made it extremely messy as well (soaking the fries and making them all the more delicious). Tastefully (tastebud-ally) balanced. And enormous. Those are probably the two best ways to describe this burger. And I'd like to get it again and again.

I can't say enough about this place in general. Pub One is located in Dumbo at the beginning of Front Street. Its a small building, but when you walk in, the bar and dining room open up into a large patio in the back with ample seating and an outdoor bar. The waitstaff are all nice and definitely enthusiastic (our waitress may have been a little too excited about us being there). The beer selection is ok, not very big. Don't be concerned about the B rating. I'd come here again and I'd definitely recommend it to everybody I know.