I must ask for your forgiveness for my absence recently. I lost someone very dear to me a few weeks ago, and have honestly not felt much like writing posts. This person, my aunt Angela, was an amazing woman who helped make me who I am today.
She came to my family about thirty one years ago to be our live-in nanny, to not only cook and clean, but to help raise my siblings and me. She didn't speak very much English at all, and had only just recently gotten into the country from Taiwan. She came to us before I was born so I was extremely fortunate to essentially have two moms raising me.
I honestly don't remember much about when I was growing up. That's not really true. I remember a great deal. I have flashes of images and moments that really stand out. I remember Angela disciplining me. Having to stand in the corner. I remember her letting me sneak down into her room to watch cartoons. I remember how she used to sneak eggs into my oatmeal to make sure I was eating enough protein. But most of all I remember the kitchen. Angela was always in the kitchen. The kitchen had such a bustle, and an immense quality of life to it because Angela was there. She became synonymous with the life in the kitchen, constantly cooking another meal, cleaning, prepping, and baking. Repeat. There was always laughter and a dark sense of humor about her, an ability to joke around, but also listen, and understand. She was immensely emotional, and when, at times, we'd argue, she would be hurt, and showed it. In recent years, Angela had had a difficult time. Still with us, and still helping to take care of our family, she was sometimes not very happy. She would clash with my father, or me, which upset her to no end, but would always let it go. She was amazing at moving past the things that she wanted to get over, and could hold a grudge for a while if she wanted to.
I remember all of these things about her that define who she was to me, but the past few years contain some of the best memories I have of Angela. She and I spent a lot of time together in the kitchen as she taught me to cook. She was one of those cooks who never measures, who just knows by feel and taste exactly how much of every ingredient to put in. At first, it was incredibly frustrating, but when I became more comfortable, suddenly this entire world of cooking was opened to me. She was the one who taught me how to make burgers, always making stuffed burgers, or other interesting varieties, and getting excited about mixing different ingredients to make something amazing and new. She and I would cook together, each adding something to the dish we were making, exclaiming, "oh! I know exactly what this should have," before running to get some other key ingredient. That joy of cooking; that life that cooking brings to a house was something she embodied. That is what I learned from Angela, what I miss now, and will miss for the rest of my life. She was my teacher, my mother, and my friend, and to her I will never find enough ways to say "thank you Angela. I love you."
